Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
