Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
