I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Success! We fucked roommates!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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