we're blogging at a bar
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
