Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
