Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
