You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
