when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
