I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
