Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Randomize
