Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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