We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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