Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
