wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
