Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
there is another microwave in the elevator.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
