Kiss
Puke
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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