i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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