then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
