No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
