Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
