You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
