I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just found a bag of teeth...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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