its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
In America we eat man semen.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
he had hair everywhere except his balls
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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