i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
