oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
