i don't like sucking hair
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
