I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
