Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
