margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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