as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
