Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
