i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
