okay pat passed out under dana's car
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
