white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
People in love make me want to vomit
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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