i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
