just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
