Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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