the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
