i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
