i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
