When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
