she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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