Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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