Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
