you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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