Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
