Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im holly from the hills drunk
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
