It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
you never un-have a 4some
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