at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
