I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
