I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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