Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
