I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
